


Moments in Life

by iL0Vsuperman



Series: Building a Superfamily [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: After Movie, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hints of Steve / Bucky, Human Experimentation, Hydra (Marvel), Kid Fic, Kid Peter Parker, Parent Steve Rogers, SHIELD, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), Unknown Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iL0Vsuperman/pseuds/iL0Vsuperman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers had experienced many moments in his life. Sadly, he could clearly remember the moments he had categorized as being the worst in his life. At the end of all these horrible moments, he always assumed it could never get any worse. Yet time and time again, he is proved wrong. </p><p>He thought it could not get any worse after Hydra reemerged and Bucky, his best friend whom he thought dead, had tried to kill him. </p><p>But he was wrong.</p><p>As SHIELD rebuilds its organization, routing out what was left of Hydra, they come across a Hydra lab. In it they find evidence that Hydra had had a hand in Steve’s extraction from the ice. They had taken his tissue, blood, urine, semen, hair, even clippings of his nails, all to recreate a super soldier.</p><p>They had failed in all their experiments with the exception of one. </p><p>With his semen, they had successfully impregnated a woman and she bore him a son…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments in Life

The first time Steve Rogers thought he was experiencing the worst moment of his life, was when he and Bucky were walking home from school. It was a normal day and out of no where Bucky had suddenly run ahead of him to catch the eye of a pretty dame. As he jogged away, Steve’s eyes lingered on his friend’s rear-end and then, with horror, Steve felt himself start to grow hard from arousal.

All his abnormal feelings suddenly made sense.  

He was attracted to his friend-- _his male friend_. Steve instantly felt disgusted and ashamed with himself. He was a freak and he did not think he could experience anything worse in his entire life…

\---

Yet he reexamined this when he was rejected a tenth time as he tried to enlist in the army.

The second time he experienced the worst moment of his life, the recruiter had laughed in his face and told him he would never survive the trip overseas nonetheless the war. Steve tried to plead his case, stating his passion and patriotism were enough but the recruiter shot him down. He told Steve he was useless and with all his ailments he was a walking corpse. Steve left the office feeling subhuman and unjustly treated. The life he had mapped out for himself was crumbling before his eyes and he could do nothing about it.

At that moment, he knew this was worse than being attracted to Bucky, that urge he could smother, but this…this he had no control over.

\---

The third time he thought he experienced the worst moment of his life was as he watched Bucky plummet to his death. His best friend took a fall that was meant for him. Steve had to watch from between his outstretched fingers as the last moments of Bucky’s life slip away. Buck’s eyes had been wide with fear and the knowledge that he was going to die. His wretched scream pierced Steve’s very soul.

If he had moved a little faster Steve knew he would have caught him. For the rest of his life, the guilt would never abate and the empty hole that was created would never fill.

\---

Steve had assumed the fourth moment would also be his last when his plane plunged into the icy ocean…

He had hoped for a normal, happy life with Peggy but all he had of her was a few more seconds with her voice. He would have traded everything to be with her. He would even give up the mantle of Captain America and take back his old, decrepit body. But no matter how hard he wished, he knew he was going to die alone. Another loved one was being torn away from him and he was not strong enough to stop it.

An odd calm settled over him and he told himself it was because he was doing his duty as a soldier and was going to save millions of lives…

His hands shook on the controls and he could not keep the tremor out of his voice. But he had to keep talking, just to prove to himself he was alive for those last few seconds.

“We’ll have the band play something slow. I’d hate to step on yo—,” was all Steve was able to say before impact. He struck the ice at such a velocity that nearly all the bones broke in his body instantly. The serum saved him and, for a moment, he thought he might survive. Someone would eventually find him or the serum would heal his wounds… that is, until the plane tilted forward and the compartment filled with icy water.

Steve could not move as the frigid water rose enclosed his damaged body in its cold embrace. Despite the serum’s great ability, his limbs and torso instantly grew numb. The hyperthermia would have killed him if the water did not keep rising.

The icy water flowed gently into his slack mouth. It washed away the taste of blood then slid down his throat. Steve’s back was broken. He was paralyzed. He could not raise his chin to prevent the water from simply flowing into him. Nor could he close his eyes, the ice had frozen them open. He had to watch the water leisurely rise and just as gradually kill him.

He could not help but believe this was the worst moment in his short, unfair life and reflected on this singular fact reverently in the hour it took for him to drown.

\---

“You've been asleep, Cap. For almost seventy years...”

Steve began to hyperventilate. He was standing in the middle of Times Square but it was no longer his Times Square. It was like something out of a Jules Verne novel or one of the Sci-Fi comics he read as a kid. This was New York but it was not the New York he remembered.

70 years.

He woke from a decades long sleep and found out everything he knew and everyone he loved were gone. They were replaced by the fast-paced, cold, immoral, and confusing future.

He knew nothing could be worse than losing his entire world. Accepting that he was in this horrible future and forever cut off from the world he knew and loved was the worst moment in his life.

\---

Yet once again he was proved wrong when, all at once, SHIELD turned on him, Hydra reemerged, and Bucky turned out to be alive but not the man he once knew.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” Bucky hissed to Steve and Steve felt himself crumble internally. Bucky seemed to be at the end of a long hall that was growing by the second. Steve stood at the end and, no matter how hard he ran, he could not get any closer. He was stuck in the dark hallway totally isolated. It was at that moment, Steve realized how irrevocably alone he was and will always be.

A man from the 1940s would never fit in the 21st Century.

He did not think anything could be worse, short of death…And, at that moment, even death might have been a relief.

\---

He was wrong.

\---

After the events at SHIELD HQ and the fall of the three helicarriers, Phil Coulson, a man Steve once thought dead, was put in charge of shutting down SHIELD and all its subsidiaries. When Steve asked the agent how he had survived, the agent merely smiled and told him not to worry about it. SHIELD was being rebuilt with Coulson as its new director but the process was a slow one as they carefully weeded out what was left of Hydra.

Without SHEILD to distract him he was doing nothing and going nowhere.

He ran daily but beyond that he spent most of his days looking for the next hotel to hole up in. He did not even have the heart to draw anymore. Every time he picked up his sketchbook he would stare blankly at the white pages and could go no further. He spent most days doing the daily newspaper’s crossword puzzle, listening to the radio, or punching the old punching bag.

As for his personal relationships, he occasionally reached out to Sam and they would run together some mornings.

Natasha disappeared after helping him leak SHIELD’s information and he figured she was laying low until the drama totally died down. She would send him the occasional text message but was mostly silent.

As for the other Avengers, he had not seen Clint Barton, Dr. Bruce Banner, or Thor Odinson since the incident in New York. Clint disappeared without a word, most likely doing a mission for SHIELD. Dr. Banner was hiding away in Tony’s labs. And Thor was back home in Asgard.

Tony Stark encouraged him to stop by often and had even offered him an apartment in his tower. Steve graciously turned down the apartment, wanting to stay in Brooklyn. Yet, he and Tony began to meet up after the attack in New York. It was because of him that Steve started his notebook with the list of “must dos” for the 21st century.

The attack had created a sort of bound between them, a bound he had experienced many times with other soldiers in World War II. It was a comradeship that could only be found in those who had fought together and he shared it with all the Avengers. It was through that link he and Tony had clicked and their friendship flourished.

When he had first met him, he thought Tony was a pompous jerk but that was only the tough exterior Tony portrayed. Steve soon realized that Tony had the biggest heart out of them all and would do all that was within his power to help his friends and total strangers. It was because of this drive to help people, Steve only saw him around once every week. Tony was usually in his workshop, building something to create cheaper energy or filtration systems to create cleaner water. Tony would go on and on about his projects and Steve was loathe to tear him away from them. Not only was he passionate about it but it would help millions of others.

In all he only saw Tony and Sam a few days out of the week. The rest of the time dragged by slowly as he tried and failed to find a purpose.

Agent Maria Hill called him a month after the official closure of SHEILD. Steve thought his involvement with the restructuring spy organization was over. He was uneasy about going. He no longer trusted anyone, especially those in SHEILD with the exception of Phil Coulson, Maria Hill, and Nick Fury.

He told himself that the only reason he went was because Agent Hill asked it of him. In reality, he needed to do something…

Ultimately, what really made him decide to go was when Agent Hill had said it was an important matter that needed his undivided attention, more specifically, a matter caused by the underground Hydra in SHEILD.

Steve waited for Agent Hill in a basic conference room. Five out of the six chairs sat empty as Steve occupied the sixth chair. He stared at the chair opposite him from across the table with such intensity that if anyone saw him they would think he was trying to light it aflame with his mind. His hands lay in front of him on the table. They strangled each other and were clenched so tightly his knuckles had turned white.

He might be a little more than uneasy being back at SHEILD.

Agent Hill came in and took the chair Steve was staring down. His expression did not change. Agent Hill met his glare with an impassive expression.

“Thank you for coming over, Captain Rogers,” she stated monotonously.

“You told me there was an important matter regarding Hydra,” Steve retorted through gritted teeth.

Yes, he was definitely more than a little uneasy.

He was brimming with nervous energy. He knew he was most likely going to be sent out on a mission to find a Hydra sleeper cell. He was ecstatic to be useful again but he was angry it involved SHEILD. He could not trust them, even with Agent Coulson directing them.

Agent Hill had a stack of manila folders and she carefully laid them on the table in front of her. He could see the words “Confidential” written on front of the top folder and he clenched his hands tighter.

“Captain Rogers…Steve…I’m going to get straight to the point. We’ve discovered that Hydra had their hands in almost everything…including your extraction from the ice.”

Agent Hill’s words speared themselves into Steve’s mind and his brain immediately kicked into overdrive. Millions of possibilities came to mind and most involved adverse effects to Steve’s own person. For all he knew, Hydra had made him a ticking time bomb while he was frozen and he could explode at any moment. Steve tensed and he griped his chair’s arms so tightly he left dents in them.

“What did they do to me?!” Steve hissed, rising slightly out of his chair.

“You are physically fine,” Agent Hill stated and raised a hand, motioning for him to sit.

“What. Did. They. Do?” He demanded.

“We originally thought you were a well preserved dead man, Captain. We took samples from you: tissue, blood, urine, semen, hair, even clippings of your nails. We wanted to know how you ticked. _Hydra wanted to know how you ticked_.”

Steve slowly sat back down as Agent Hill’s words filtered through his mind. In the 1940s, Hydra had tried to recreate super soldiers and failed with disastrous results. What had they learned from him? What evils did they attempt now?

Apprehension built inside him and he quietly repeated in a whisper, “What did they do?”

Agent Hill picked up the top folder from her pile and handed it to Steve. He opened it and saw medical files. Before he could start reading, Agent Hill stated, “They injected your blood into a human test subject, hoping to get a mutation…the subject subsequently died when his heart exploded.” The paperwork basically stated what Agent Hill had just summarized for him but contained more medical and scientific details. Steve closed the file and unconsciously put his hand over his mouth.

Agent Hill handed him the next file and continued.

“They took your DNA from your tissue and hair and tried to manipulate it into a serum but failed on that account as well…” She paused when he opened the file.

All of the papers in the new file appeared to go into detail about what Agent Hill was stating. Steve’s stomach was churning the bile of his stomach unpleasantly. Agent Hill did not mention the number of people Hydra had used the serum on but there was a list of over a dozen names with the word “DECEASED” next to all of them.

How many people died because Hydra was trying to replicate the super soldier serum? When he took the serum he did so thinking he would be saving lives but the list in his hands showed that, by merely existing, he was destroying lives.

“Agent Hill?” Steve asked his mouth dry. There was more. The way she fingered the stack of folders he knew there was more and they were worse.

She cleared her throat and said, “With your semen they impregnated five women.”

The papers slid from his fingers and Steve inhaled sharply but did not exhale. The breath literally froze in his lungs. The ice spread throughout his chest and up his throat.

Five women.... pregnant --with _his_ children?

Agent Hill continued, “Unlike the other test subjects, these women were not willing participants. Hydra kidnapped prominent scientists, hoping their intelligence would be transferred over to their offspring. Two of the women died before they could give birth and a third died in childbirth along with the baby—.”

Agent Hill handed him the next three files and Steve mutely opened the first file. Agent Hill fell silent as he began reading. His eyes immediately focused on the face of the young woman whose picture was included with the file. She was blonde with light green eyes and beneath her picture was her name: Meredith Jones. SHEILD had made a quick summary about her cause of death which drew Steve’s eyes immediately.

He read: Decease caused by fetus. The fetus had grown at an unforeseen and fast rate. It grew too large then, in turn, began to devour its mother. When the woman died the fetus ate at its own limbs until it too died.

Steve clutched his mouth then jumped to his feet. Agent Hill flinched in surprise by the quick action. Steve ignored her and ran to the trashcan by the door and vomited his breakfast into the plastic can. Even after he emptied his stomach he continued to dry heave several more times before his nausea became manageable.

He had gone through several instances which he had each assumed was the worst moment of his life. After these instances, he always told himself it could not get worse and he was so wrong. So naïvely wrong.

It was horrible enough that people had died testing serums made from his DNA but to know Hydra had kidnapped these innocent women and impregnated them with his children. His mind turned to the babies, the five little lives he knew nothing about and the first one did not survive because it _ate_ itself and its mother alive.

Steve stomach rolled again. _He had spawned a monster._

What did that make Steve?

Was God punishing him? Was it a horrible sin to accept the super solider serum and change the body the Lord gave him? Or did it go further? Was it his attraction to Bucky that damned him? Or maybe he was just cursed from birth?

Steve returned to his seat and sat down heavily. His shame was so great that he could not meet Agent Hill’s eyes. He hoarsely asked, “M-My s-sperm, did this?”

He flushed slightly after saying sperm. It was embarrassing enough to say aloud but to say it to a woman was downright mortifying.

“Hydra modified each fetus with additional gamma-radiated DNA,” Agent Hill stated. “They wanted to make a super soldier greater than Captain America.”

Steve nodded, as he was unable to speak without vomiting again. The assurance that he might not have been the cause of the child’s monstrous nature was not enough to settle his stomach.

He wordlessly looked to the paperwork on the other women who had died prior to birth. This woman was thankfully not devoured but had died just as grisly a death. The fetus emitted an acidic mucus from its pores. It fell out of its mother as she slept, burning through her spine and killing her within seconds. The fetus was too young to survive outside of its mother’s body and also died.

Juanita Rodriguez was the second woman’s name. She had striking cocoa colored skin and long black hair. Steve emblazed her name and image into his mind and planned to do it with every single one of them.  

He closed the second file carefully and inhaled deeply to settle his upset stomach. He slid the third file out from beneath the others and opened it just as carefully as he had closed the second. The mother and baby, both of whom died during the childbirth, had passed thanks to the infant’s spontaneous combustion. The flames were so sudden and large that even the doctors had in the delivery room had died. There was nothing left of the bodies but little flecks of ash.

The woman’s name was Kristen Mathers. She was a brunette with a haughty smile and dark eyes.

Steve closed the file and took several, much needed, deep breaths. He cupped his hand over his eyes and leaned heavily into his grip. He squeezed his eyes with his fingertips to avoid and damning tears. He tried to put on a brave face but failed miserably when he met Agent Hills’s eyes. He could not read her expression but he knew she could easily read the horror and fear etched on his face.

His eyes spanned down from her face to the final two files beneath her hand. He remembered Agent Hill stating that five women had been impregnated and she had held back the last two.

Steve gripped his leg tightly beneath the table. If he had grabbed anything else it would have splintered in seconds.

“T-The other two?” Steve asked hoarsely, afraid to hear the answer.

“Both women gave birth,” Agent Hill stated gently. “The fourth woman’s baby died a few days after its birth…” Agent Hill handed Steve the file and his hand shot out and snatched it from her grasp. The top papers were not on the mother or her death like the others but were on the baby. _His baby_. Pictures of the infant were included and Steve could see how it— _she_ died.

The baby looked fine except for the fact that her spine was exposed. She had Steve’s pale skin and his light blonde hair.

The mother’s name was Katya Stroganov and she had blonde hair and blue eyes, all a shade darker than Steve. According to the report, she was executed after the birth.

Agent Hill remained respectfully silent as he read about his daughter. The doctors had tried and failed to repair the birth defect.

Steve cleared his throat then pinched his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut to crush his tears. Growing up, his mother would always tease Steve about having a daughter. She would tell him how much of a handful she would be and how Steve would always fret over her. She teased that he would have a heart attack when his daughter went out on her first date. He smiled grimly at the photo and ran the tip of his finger over the curvature of the baby’s tiny face.

 _Take care of her, Ma_ , Steve internally whispered. _You can fret over her now._

He inhaled deeply and readied himself for the final file.

He asked, “The fifth?”

“Survived. He’s two-years-old now,” Agent Hill stated and Steve’s head snapped up.

“WHAT?!” Steve shot to his feet and garbled, “How-?! Where-?! What-?!”

Agent Hill wordlessly passed him the final file. Steve ripped it open and froze upon seeing the picture. There was a Polaroid clipped to the papers of a toddler sitting in a diaper and peering inquisitively at the camera. The boy appeared human enough and had thick brown hair and bright blue eyes. Steve picked up the photo and stared at the child, taking in as much detail as he could. He was enthralled mostly by the boy’s eyes, they were Steve’s eyes staring back at him from the photo.

“He was in one of Hydra’s labs in an abandoned Oscorp building. We arrested the scientists with him, seized him, and all the files that contain the information before you. As soon as we deemed him medically healthy, safe to be around, and…truly your son, I contacted you.”

“His mother?” Steve inquired.

“She was executed after the birth. Her name was Mary Parker... She was one of ours, of SHIELD.”

Steve quickly flicked back a few papers and found the photo of the woman. The picture, like all the others, was from her driver’s license. She had short, brown hair and round glasses sitting on the end of her nose. Her brown eyes were relaxed and her smile soft.

Steve guiltily obscured her image then refocused on the photo of the toddler. He asked, “A-And the boy…What’s his name?”

“Hydra never properly named him…His codename was ‘Spiderman.’ The gamma-DNA they gave him was from a spider,” she quickly explained. “He responds to Spidey.”

Steve frowned and knew that was the first thing he was going to do for his son: give him a proper name. He already knew it had to be a name that would work in both the past and present, a name Steve could connect with but that would not ostracize his son from the present world. The name did not come to him yet but he knew he would figure one out.

“Are there any effects from the gamma-DNA?” Steve asked, thinking of the other children. His heart began hammering against his ribs as he imagined sharp pincers hidden behind this innocent looking boy’s pink lips.

“No…but he inherited super strength from his father,” Agent Hill stated. “He’s broken through the bars in all the cribs we put him in.”

Steve looked up from the picture to see Agent Hill finally displaying emotion. She smiled at him and asked, “Do you want to meet him?”

Steve gulped and took another look at the photograph. The boy not only had Steve’s eyes but also the same button nose as Steve’s mother.

“Y-Yes,” Steve gasped. “Yes, I do.”

\---

Steve was going into shock.

He could not process the world around him. All he could focus on was the fact that he had a son and beyond that he mercifully drew a blank. If he had to contemplate all the other deaths that occurred he would probably go insane with misery. The idea that he had a son he did not know about was so astounding that it shut down his brain.

He never thought about what it would be like to actually have children. In the 40s, he always assumed that he would get married after the war and pop out a few kids but this was just an idea of the future that everyone had at his age. The children he imagined never looked like him and he felt no connection to them. He never thought about it because he always thought it was something he would plan for years later. He had to get a wife first and beyond that he did not contemplate anything else.

When he woke in the 21st Century, he never even considered it. The notion of having a family had died with his friends and allies from over a half a century earlier.

He dare not feel a flicker of hope because, with his luck, the boy would die before Steve got to him.

Agent Hill led him down what was left of the SHIELD Science Division. Boxes of paperwork sat in the hallways and many doors were sealed shut. The building was unnervingly quiet and was a testament to what had occurred. Many offices lay vacant from the Hydra agents being removed or because the SHIELD agents who had once resided within had been cut down with the Hydra takeover. She eventually led him to the labs and Steve became uneasy.

_She said the boy was fine, didn’t she?_

Steve knew which room she was taking him to as soon as he saw the solider standing in front of the door. He was tempted to push Agent Hill aside and run to the room but decorum won over. Like a good soldier, he clenched his fists tightly and impatiently followed the agent to the lab room.

When they stepped inside, all notions of manners fled him as his eyes latched on to the real life toddler from the picture.

He wore a simple a red stripped shirt that looked too big for him and loose jeans. The clothing the agents must have bought just recently. He could not imagine what he had to wear before they found him.

The toddler drank from an orange sippy-cup and watched everyone with a wary eye.

Doctors stood around him and Dr. Banner was with them but Steve did not notice him.

Steve shouldered Agent Hill aside and rushed over to the table. He reached out to the little boy as if to pick him up but paused, suddenly afraid to touch him. What if this all was not real? What if his hands went through the toddler like an apparition and Steve woke up alone? His entire being rebelled against it. He _could not_ wake up alone. He was not brave enough to face reality if this was not real. He never realized how alone and isolated he felt until his eyes latched on to the child in front of him.

His son blinked his big blue eyes then cautiously help his sippy-cup out to Steve.

“Do shu wan shum?” The boy asked shyly.

Steve gently took the cup and the little boy smiled. Steve was stunned by his son’s brilliant smile and did not move. The boy noticed and frowned. His little hand reached out and wrapped around one of Steve’s fingers. He asked, “A-Are shu going to dwink it?”

Steve inhaled sharply from the sudden touch.

He _was_ real…

For the first time since he was injected with the super solider serum, Steve felt his knees shake and his legs turn to jelly. Less than an hour ago, he thought he was experiencing the worst moment of his life but as he stared at the toddler in front of him he knew it was the exact opposite.

He was no longer alone. He had a family now. He had a purpose to live again.

Steve felt his eyes heat up and he blinked quickly to destroy any tears in the making. He never realized how alone he had felt until that moment.

Steve gently collected the boy into his arms and brought his face right up to his. His son regarded him shyly and avoided eye contact. He instantly became fixated by his dog-tags and picked them up. He ran his hands over the metal and curiously asked, “Wha dis?”

“It identifies me. It lets people know who I am if I can’t,” Steve whispered. He ran his hand through the boy’s thick hair and asked, “Do you know who I am?”

His son finally met his eyes and said, “No.”

Steve smiled and said, “I’m your Pops and you are my son. It’s nice to meet you.”

His son shyly smiled at him and Steve knew this moment was going to be one of the best of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I have another complete Superfamily Fic called August 20th with Tony Stark as Peter's father, please check it out!
> 
> There will be a sequel Fic to this story. I am going to probably post the first chapter by the end of the week! :)


End file.
